5 Sarcastic Valentine's Day Poems

If you were around in the 90's, I bet you remember this song, but don't know who sings it.  Maria McKee.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Valentine's Day is expensive
So I'm dumping you

Valentine's Day
Has me thoughtful and pensive
I do love you babe
But DAMN you're expensive

Valentine's Day
Is expensive and stupid
So I got my 12 gauge
And shot that damn cupid

It's been many years
Since we first made nookie
But I love you still babe
Though you smell like a Wookie

Valentine's Day
Alone, watching the tube
A big box of candy
A small bottle of lube

Other great songs for people with broken hearts or just sick of Valentine's Day:

The Buzzcocks - "Ever fallen in love"
The Guess Who - "Running Bear"
Johnny Preston - "Running Bear" 
Kerry Getz - "Love has no pride"
Til Tuesday - "Voices carry"
Queen - "Somebody to love" 
K. D. Lang - "Hallelujah"
Meatloaf - "Paradise by the dashboard lights" 
Kerry Getz - "Beautiful to you"
Dropkick Murphys w/Stephanie Dougherty - "Dirty glass" 
Alanis Morisette - "You oughta know"
Linda Ronstadt - "You're no good" 
Joan Jett & Blackhearts - "I hate myself for loving you"
Nazareth - "Love hurts"
J.Geil Band - "Love stinks"
Berlin - "No more words"
The Eagles - "Lyin' Eyes"
Johnny Cash & Hank Williams Jr. - "Kaw Liga"
Meatloaf - "Two out of three ain't bad"
Johnny Cash & June Carter - "Jackson"
Social Distortion - "She's a knockout"
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - "AC/DC"
Carrie Underwood & Miranda Lambert - "Something Bad" 
Social Distortion - "99 to life"
Guns n' Roses - "Used to love her"
Prince - "I could never take the place of your man" 
No Doubt - "Don't Speak" 
Looking Glass - "Brandy"
P!nk - "Me and Bobby McGee"
Janis Joplin - "Me and Bobby McGee"
Ugly Kid Joe - "Everything about you"
Spin Doctors - "Little Miss can't be wrong"
Imelda May - "Psycho"
Janis Joplin (w/Elissa Steamer) - "Take another piece of my heart"
Kenny Rogers & First Edition - "Ruby... don't take your love to town" 
Kerry Getz - "Walk away Renee'"
Left Bank - "Walk away Renee'"
Bobbie Gentry - "Ode to Billy Joe"
Miranda Lambert - "Mama's broken heart"
The Descendents - "She's just my ex"
Sinead O'Conner - "Nothing compares 2 U"
Nirvana - "Where did you sleep last night?"
Lead Belly - "Where did you sleep last night?"
The Black Crowes - "She talks to angels"
Roy Orbison & K.D. Lang - "Crying"
No Doubt- "Sunday morning"
Tori Amos - "Silent All these years"
Patsy Cline - "Three cigarettes in an ashtray" 
Jane's Addiction - "Jane says"
Miranda Lambert - "Little Red Wagon"
Miley Cyrus - "Jolene" 
Dolly Parton & Pentatonix - "Jolene" 
Gloria Jones - "Tainted Love"
Gloria Jones- "Tainted Love (Vixen version)"
Soft Cell - "Tainted Love"
Social Distortion - "Tainted Love"
Imelda May - "Tainted Love"
Marilyn Manson - "Tainted Love"
Linda Ronstadt - "Desperado" 
Jefferson Airplane - "Somebody to love" 

If you're determined to stay depressed, don't listen to any of these songs (NSFW!!!):
The Descendents - "Clean sheets" 
The Buzzcocks - "Orgasm addict" 
The Dead Milkmen - "Punk rock girl" 
Killer Pussy - "Teenage enema nurse" 
The Red Aunts - "The vibrator song"
Tank Girl - "Let's do it"
The Divinyls - "I touch myself" 
Berlin - "Sex"
The Poxy Boggards - "Good ship Venus"
The Merry Wives of Windsor - "Has anybody seen my cock"
The Poxy Boggards - "Hey Nonny, Nonny"
 The Merry Wives of Windsor - "Come roll me away"