The actual Lincoln Navigator promo that I originally put in this post was taken down. So here's some guys driving on a slippery bank with a Navi. Lincoln makes the Navigator and the Aviator, so I had some ideas for other cars in that line. (Since the Trump presidencies have shown us that there are tens of millions of complete fucking morons in this country, this is a parody post people. A joke. Just for entertainment purposes).
Here are some potential ideas for new Lincoln SUV's...
The Lincoln Gator- A affordable, family-centric SUV that comes with a small wet well in the back, and every SUV comes with your very own pet baby alligator. Oh... they're so cute! Watch it grow as the kids grow up. Take it to the park in the summer for picnics! When it gets too big to handle, you can kill it and cook it up, or haul it out to the Everglades to live out its golden years.*
The Lincoln Instigator- A large SUV made for the urban wannabe baller. It comes with 28 inch rims, and a boomin' sound system that randomly shouts insults wherever you go. Get out, act tough, get your ass knocked out, all in the new Lincoln Instigator.
The Lincoln Masturbator- This is a self-driving, classy SUV aimed at the upscale women's market. It has incredibly comfortable seats, plenty of cup holders, five different places to put your cell phone so you can text, a wine glass holder, and outlets in the center console so you can plug in your sex toys. Oh yes! OH YES! This is the SUV the discerning woman NEEDS. Every SUV comes with her choice of one of the latest rabbit vibrators.
* Alligators are wild reptiles, and they will eat you if given half a chance. This post is a joke, in case you haven't figured that out yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment