"Same Ol' Rap" - I wrote a rap yesterday, making fun of bad rappers...

 Somebody was blasting bad rap out of their SUV, as I was sitting on a bus bench yesterday.  I just started coming up with rhymes about bad, wannabe rappers.  This one is dedicated to all the MC Wiggety Wacks out there.

Same Ol' Rap

I got bitches

I got money

Same ol' rap

You heard a thousand times, honey

I dress dope

I act hard

But I live in a tent

In my mom's backyard

I don't drink Cristal

I drink orange soda

Cruisin' down the street

'94 Toyota

I smoke a lot of weed

I act insane

I recycle beer cans

To buy fake gold chains

I like falafels

I really like pitas

I don't tell the girls

I'm straight outta Reseda

I rap about my days

Sellin' drugs in the hood

When I'd visit my grandma

Down in Inglewood

I need money for the dentist

I got a cracked molar

You know I've had a gangsta lean

Since I was in a stroller

So I wrote this rap

That don't say shit

Let me talk to Dre

So he can make it a hit

I need bitches and money

So I can be a baller

I'm as smooth as Eminem

But my dick's much smaller

I'm gonna have a Rolls

Ya know I ain't dreamin'

Gotta move out of this tent

'Cause my mom's always screamin'

I gotta make rap work

Nothin' else will do

'Cause my mom just hit me

In the head with her shoe

-Steve Emig, The White Bear 7/1/2024

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