Just to be clear, my goal is to start a small business selling ebooks, real books, a few T-shirts, and my Sharpie art. I want to use the proceeds from this business to rent a room or apartment, buy a BMX cruiser, start riding again to the level I can, and start slowly losing weight. That's the goal. That's always been the goal, since I landed back out on the streets of SoCal in the summer of 2019.
The main reason a "real job" is out of the question is that, after living in North Carolina for ten years (2008-2018), where I couldn't find ANY job (except taxi driving for a year), I have no work history. The last "real job" I had that could verify my employment would be a warehouse I worked at in 1997, where I tested computer monitors, drove a forklift, and loaded trucks. Every job I've had since, taxi driving and "real jobs," the companies have all gone out of business, or been bought out and no longer exist. I'm 57, really overweight, and can't do any physical jobs at this point. But there's a lot I can do online.
At this point, I have a better chance of creating a small business of writing and art, than I have of getting a real job that pays enough to rent a place to live. I also used to be a part time flipper, buying storage unit auction units, and selling the stuff for cash. That's a good way to make some money, week to week. With a vehicle and a place to store stuff, I could do that as well. That would combine well with the online business idea. I always made some money doing that, I did it part time when I drove a taxi in 2004-2007. So that's the goal, create my own job, rent a place to live, and stabilize my life again. Then get a bike. That's all I've been trying to do for nearly 5 years now.
It's hard trying to build a business right off of the streets. Really hard. But that's the only realistic option right now. And we're heading into a major recession (don't believe the media hype, we're in a recession, financial YouTube is talking about it daily). I've built online stores twice since 2019, and both times my inability to get a legit bank account held me back. I didn't realize something that simple would be such an issue. But when you can't show proof of a physical address, it's an issue. And no, a P.O. Box won't work.
Anyhow, here's the last 3 1/2 months worth of drama. At the end of November, I signed back up for food stamps (aka Cal Fresh), mine had expired at the end October. I got approved for six months, like usual. They had the first month on my card the next day. Cool. Then I got a free "Obama phone," because I couldn't scrape up enough money to buy a Trac phone, after mine got stolen last summer.
My food stamps didn't come in December, so I figured what I got at the end of November was for December, instead of back-timed for November. Then they didn't come in January. I called them in January. The woman said the money would be on my card in three days. It didn't come. So I called again, that woman said they owed me for December and January, and it would all be on my card the next day. It didn't come again. As of now, for reasons no one can explain, I haven't had my food stamps payments for December, January, or February. I'm in the system, it says so on the computer. But they won't send the payments to my card, for some reason. If I don't qualify, just say so, and I'll figure something else out. But their online system says I should be getting the payments, and I'm not getting them, I'm in the system.
I also had a prepaid bank card thing, which allowed me to transfer money out of Paypal, and similar sources, so I could get paid for doing artwork, or other work online. That card got shut down, no reason given, in December as well. Then, since I've been following crypto for a couple of years now, I signed up for a Coinbase account. I know the crypto major bull market is in its early stages, and will play out over the next 12 -18 months. So I was planning to scrape up $50 or $100, and put it in Bitcoin, Eth, and a couple others, and just let it ride for the next year, as the cycle plays out. I couldn't fund the account, my "Obama phone" wasn't accepted. Then, a couple of days later, the new Google account I opened, to have a separate email for the crypto account, got shut down for no reason, as well. That's the third Google account I've had shut down with no notice, with no reason given.
With no food stamps in January, I struggled to scrape up food money. Normal people are pretty generous to homeless people from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Then the generosity just shuts off. January is always the hardest month to scrape through. I was going through my days, and not eating much. I actually "work" much of every day, though I have to bounce from location to location to do it. Other than the library, I have to pay, I have to buy something, at most of the locations I work at daily, like fast food joints, Starbucks and similar locations, etc. Buying a drink or food gives me access to heat or A/C, a place to sit, power (sometimes) wifi, and a bathroom. So I have to buy something to use those places, and I need bus fare to get from place to place. That's just everyday life in my situation.
Because I wasn't eating much, and not eating well, my immune system got depressed. I got sick in the middle of January, and went to the hospital for three days. I had some infection that normally I could fight off. My lack of decent food, and battling the chilly weather, wore me down. I had some infection, and it landed in my lower left leg, a form of cellulitis. I've been prone to that since I was a taxi driver in 2007. When I was leaving the hospital, it took half a day for them to find my belongings, that I had to leave with security in the E.R., when I checked in. When they found my stuff, My sleeping bag and blanket were gone. The hospital either lost them, or threw them away. That's a bummer.
From the hospital I got sent to a "homeless rehab" place up in Palmdale. The people working there were all cool, the food was decent, but luke warm or cold. But the place was completely underfunded for the services they are supposed to provide. They had problems getting me my antibiotics three times a day the first few days. I could barely walk when I got there, and just laid in my little bed, with my leg elevated on my backpack. I healed up, mostly. But now my left leg swells up with fluid each day, then the fluid drains at night. It's still improving over time. It was back to pretty much normal size this morning.
I talked to the social workers about looking into "housing" after a few days in the rehab place. Then I didn't see them again. My social worker went ahead and signed me up for the housing system, at the beginning of February, and I was taken to the sketchy-ass building in downtown L.A., with the nasty mattress in the photo above, and no working toilet for my room. So I left.
Then I had to deal with a couple of 38 to 40 degree (F) nights, the first with no sleeping bag. Luckily, a person I know in this area gave me a sleeping bag the second day. That was a life saver. It's good down to about 45 or 50 degrees, so I want to buy a moving blanket for additional warmth at night. Those are compact, and are good insulation for their size. I squeaked through the huge rainstorm, 7.25 to 8.25 inches of rain in about four days, where I'm at. One night, I set down my big, trash bag wrapped sketch pad, to put on my poncho, when leaving a business. I spaced out, and left my sketchpad there. It had the finished "Regrets" drawing (below), a large doodle art (black and white) drawing, and a couple smaller things. Not a huge loss, but still a bummer. So I have to buy a new sketch pad before I can do any more drawings. Another thing on the list.
Then last night, while I was sleeping, some motherfucker stole my shopping bag, which was tucked behind my legs while I slept. All my clothes were in it, and about 15 razors, since I have to buy a 20-pack of razors to get one, these days. So I have the clothes on my back, my laptop, Obama phone, and Sharpies and my basic art supplies. I have the new sleeping bag. And that's it.
I want to be perfectly clear, I'm NOT asking, or hinting that I need help. I'm just writing this post to explain how fucked up life can be, to vent, and to let everyone know the kinds of things I deal with, and don't write about most of the time. This is why I scrape by, and haven't been able to get back on my feet. When you're homeless, things you need, everyday items, are getting lost or stolen, on a regular basis. These setbacks can take months to recover from.
It's a beautiful, but chilly morning here in The Valley, north of L.A.. I've been here in a fast food place for over an hour, and it's still only 52 degrees (F) out right now. It's been a crazy winter, and I'm doing my best to survive, and keep plugging away at the overall goal of getting a functioning business going, and making a living again some day. But it's been a crazy winter, I have a bunch of stuff to replace, and I can't even do artwork right now. But I keep plugging away at it.
So that's my status right now, as a creative guy working to earn a legit living again. Again, I'm not asking for help or any items. I'm just writing about the things I normally don't write about, and letting everyone who follows my work know how things are going. Thanks for reading, thanks to all who have bought drawings from me, helped me out in some other way, or support me on Patreon (I can't access that $$ right now either, but will be able to soon). More stuff to come. I'll try to keep it interesting, most of the time.
"Regrets." This is the #sharpiescribblestyle drawing that was in the big sketchpad that I left in a restaurant. It wasn't there when I checked a day later. Nobody wanted to buy this one, but technically, it's one of my better drawings. I wanted to do something weird for Halloween, try another idea, and this was the result. I hope whomever nabbed it likes it.
I've been doing a lot of writing on Substack lately, check it out:
Steve Emig The White Bear's Substack
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