Old School BMX freestyle, art and creative stuff, the future and economics, and anything else I find interesting...
Thursday, February 29, 2024
Ayato Kimura's "Tropical Vibes" video- MTB urban freeride from southern Japan
Wednesday, February 28, 2024
My $10,000 Investment Challenge- paper trading- Taking profits!
Monday, February 26, 2024
Skateboard Art Deck article in Feb. 2024 Architectural Digest
Here's an action sports themed video from Architectural Digest that you'll either love or hate
Saturday, February 24, 2024
Freestyle Pioneers: Bob Haro
Wednesday, February 21, 2024
My $10,000 investment paper trading exercise- two months in
The rise in Bitcoin, and then Ethereum (there's one or more Eth ETFs coming as well), should drive many other cryptos higher as well, over the next 12 to 24 months. When I wrote that post, Bitcoin was at $35,554 per BTC, and Ethereum was at $1,979 per Eth. As I write this post today (on February 21, 2024), Bitcoin is at $51,019, up $15,465 per Bitcoin, or 43% from November 11th, 2023. Ethereum is at $2,910, up $931 per Eth, or 47% since then. I told you guys something was happening here. If I had any actual money, I would have invested some at that point. But I'm a broke homeless guy, and I didn't. My loss.
On December 21st, 2023, I opened a Coinbase account, hoping to be able to scrape up $50 or $100, to get at least a little bit of money into crypto to ride this big wave. As most of you know, I've been homeless a long time, and am continually struggling with day to day life, and to eventually make enough money to get back on my feet, rent an apartment again, and all that stuff. I see this crypto bull market, for Bitcoin and Eth, at least, as one of the most solid investment opportunities of the next couple of years. Personally, I think we're already in a recession, one that will become visible to everyone in the next 2 to 4 months. I may be wrong with that assessment, but if so, it appears the U.S. will head into recession soon. Germany, and now Japan and the U.K. ,are all in recession now, and China's residential real estate market (which is a HUGE Ponzi scheme, basically), is beginning to implode. Chinese developer Evergrande isn't so grand anymore, and is being liquidated, and that's a huge company. China's real estate market was worth something like $62 trillion, possibly the biggest investment market in the world (the total bond market may be bigger). That will lead to more chaos and economic woes for China, for quite a while. YouTube economic brains, Steven Van Metre and Jeff Snider, have been talking about a "globally synchronized recession" for months. We seem to be heading into it now, with the U.S. economy better than others, but still probably heading into recession, if we're not already in one.
It looks to me like most traditional investments (stocks, residential real estate, gold), will drop, or at best be pretty chaotic, possibly stagnant, for the next 2 to 3 years.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to put any money into my crypto account, since I have a cheap Obama phone, the system wouldn't accept it. I think that's the government saying, "We won't let you speculate on crypto, you broke-ass motherfucker." Or something like that. That really pissed me off. I've been watching crypto for a couple of years now, learning, and trying to understand the Big Picture of it. The growing bull market cycle is about as obvious as it comes, if you pay attention to crypto. Bitcoin hit bottom about $15,500 per BTC, in November 2022, when the FTX collapse/scandal happened. Then U.S. regulators tried their best to kill it off, but couldn't. Bitcoin has inched back up to over $50,000 now, with other top cryptos climbing behind it. There's more to come, thanks largely to the halving, which is encoded into the blockchain. That should happen in April.
Not being able to put at least a little bit of money into crypto in December really pissed me off. I'm sick of seeing investment opportunities drift by, and not being able to take advantage of them, since I'm just scraping by. So I decided to "paper trade" this crypto market instead. Paper trading is an old term, where people would pretend to buy and sell stocks or other investments, and write the in and out points on paper. In the pre-internet days, that's how investors would test ideas, or try to learn about markets, without putting an real money up that could be lost with a bad decision.
So that's what I did. I pretended to invest $10,000 in several cryptos on December 21, 2023. I decided to check in every once in a while, and see how they're doing, and "sell" or "buy" other cryptos (or other investments, if any look better than crypto), and see how it all plays out. This is a big experiment. Am I right about a 12-24 month bull market in crypto? We will all find out as the months play out. This post is my two months in look at how my crypto picks are doing.
I was thinking that I did the original post on December 11, 2023, not on the 21st. So on the evening of February 10, 2024, I figured out where each pick was, up or down, and made one change. So here's how things are going. I made one change on December 10th, I sold all my THORChain, at a loss, and bought more Solana with the remaining money, figuring a 5%, gas fee for each trade.
On December 21st, I took my imaginary $10,000, and "invested" $9,500 in several cryptos, with $500 (5%) in total fees. That's the high end of potential gas fees, just to figure them in and make it legit. Here's what that bought me then. Here's the December 21, 2023 post, to see the details, and initial prices paid for each.
On December 21st, 2023, I "bought" .02399 Bitcoin for $1,000, .4518 Eth for $1,000, 1234.56 Apecoin for $2,000, 56.931 Avalanche for $2,000, 14.357 Solana, 172.413 Thorchain for $1,000, 74.962 Polkadot for $500, 535.298 Polygon for $500, 490.196 Sandbox for $250, and 510.204 Decentraland for $250.
Again, this is a paper trade, an experiment, NOT an actual investment of money. So that was $9,500 into crypto with $500 in fees. Then, since I was thinking I did this on December 11, I looked at it on February 10, to figure it all out and write this 2 month blog post. Then I double checked, and realized I was ten days early. But I decided to dump the Thorchain then, and but more Solana with the proceeds. I sold the Thorchain at a loss for $881.03, with a $44 fee. I picked up Solana at $109.02, with the remaining $837.03. That gave me 7.29 more Solana after the 5% fee.
So here's where my $10,000 investment challenge stands right now on February 21, 2024, at today's prices:
.02399 Bitcoin at $51,109.76 = $1,223.96
.4518 Ethereum at $2,910.98 = $1,315.18
21.647 Solana at $101.83 = $2,204.31
56.931 Avalanche at $36.74 = $2,091.64
74.962 Polkadot at $7.35 = $550.97
595.298 Polygon at $.92 = $547.67
1234.56 Apecoin at $1.68 = $2,074.06
490.196 Sandbox at $.48 = $235.29
510.204 Decentraland at $.47 = $239.80
Total value: $10,482.88 (Feb.21, 2024)
So, from the $10,000 "invested" in crypto on December 21, 2023, with $500 paid in fees initially, I'm up 4.8% from initial $10K, (with the fees included), in two months. Or I'm up 5.08% from the $9,500 invested in crypto, not including fees, in two months. That would be a 57% return on an annual basis, if it stays at that level. So my $10,000 investment, my paper trade experiment in crypto is off to a good start.
OK, that's cool and all. But you may be wondering, why did I pick these cryptos out of the thousands that exist? Here's my thinking. Bitcoin is the original blockchain crypto, and while it's useful mainly as a store of value these days, It is the most decentralized crypto, and the biggest, and most widely held. The case for the ETF's and then the halving (in April?) made sense to me. Those are solid reasons that Bitcoin is in another long bull cycle, which usually lasts 12-24 months. So far, each bull cycle has been much bigger than the previous one. So that's a good reason to put some money in BTC. But Bitcoin may go 4X from the $35k it was at (at my November 14th 2023 blog post), that's $140,000 per coin. Maybe. 3X or 4X TOPS from $35K. But not much more. So I thought Eth, my personal favorite crypto, will ride the wave, probably hitting another higher high, like Bitcoin. So those first two are the solid bets, if we're in the early part of another long, crypto bull market. So far, it appears that we are in that next bull cycle.
Solana is huge in the NFT space now, because people can mint NFT's on the Solana chain, with much, much lower gas fees than on Ethereum. That's why I picked Solana, and why I dumped THORChain to to buy more Solana. Avalanche is tied to blockhain gaming, and I think NFT's, and especially Web 3/blockchain gaming, will be huge this crypto wave.
Apecoin is the token of Yuga Labs, who put out the Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT's, and much more since. I think they're a great team, and doing really cool shit in Web 3/crypto world, so that's why the big bet on Apecoin. I think they will pop late, quite a while after BTC, Eth, and the level 1 & 2 cryptos. Apecoin hit about $27 per unit at its peak, and hovered around $6 to $7 each for a long while, before crypto winter set it.
Polkadot and Polygon are both Level 2 cryptos from the last wave, and my guess is that they'll ride the big wave to some degree, with solid returns. Sandbox and Decentraland are two of the main metaverses, which are still being used, but have completely fallen out of favor with most crypto investors. But they are still places where NFT's can be shared, where people can buy "land" in their metaverses, and build virtual locations. And they're cheap. So they are a long shot that. Once we hit the FOMO stage of crypto buying, several months from now, they may pop big and come back in vogue. Maybe. Or they may not. Like I said, they are a long shot.
So that's my thinking on why I picked these particular cryptos for my $10,000 crypto paper trading experiment. This is not a "shoot for the moon, I want 100X return!" basket of cryptos. I picked cryptos that I think can be sold near their new peaks, and turn the original $10,000 investment into $20,000 to maybe $40,000 in 12 to 18 months. That's the idea. Again, it's an experiment, a paper trade, since I couldn't get money into crypto when I wanted to, as things were rising.
Sunday, February 18, 2024
Trey Jones' & crew's Swampfest 2024 (#8)
Thursday, February 15, 2024
Welcome to the Phoenix Great Depression - Part 2
In the late 2010's, several economic trends that I had been watching, one for nearly 30 years, seemed to be converging. One long term cycle said the U.S. should have a great depression, or at least a really bad recession, starting in 2020, or soon after. Another theory, the late futurist Alvin Toffler's The Third Wave, said that the Industrial Age was still dying off, and we were creating a new kind of society, an Information Age, to replace it. That would lead to more old industries and businesses dying off, and new ones emerging. In addition, Rich Dad, Poor Dad author, Robert Kiyosaki, had been saying for years that we should have a big economic downturn around 2017, because that's the year the first Baby Boomers hit retirement age, and they had to start pulling their money out of the stock markets. In addition, we were getting to the end of the normal business cycle, which ends with a recession. The normal 4 to 7 year business cycle has now been stretched out to 15 years, through all kinds of manipulation. We haven't had a full recession in the U.S. since 2009.
I had a whole bunch of interconnected ideas, based on theories I'd read and heard, and my own observation of economic trends, for about 30 years. Everything was telling me that the coming decade, the 2020's, were going to be one really crazy decade. So I began to write and work these ideas out. I decided to self-publish them as a book/blog. I built the empty blog on December 21st, 2019, and began writing the first chapter that day. I called this big project Welcome to Dystopia: The Future is Now- Book 1. at the time, I thought there would be a "Book 2" at some point. In paragraph 8 of Chapter 1, I wrote:
"The word "recession" is basically meaningless in today's ultra-manipulated economic world. I'm calling this coming decade " The Phoenix Great Depression." Whatever the numbers and economists' statistics wind up being, this decade will feel like a full blown great depression to most people. Yes, no one wants to hear that, but that's where we're headed. But the tough initial blows economically are setting the stage for tremendous opportunity, like the mythical phoenix being reborn from the ashes."
I wrote that on December 21st or 22nd of 2019. At the time the business media was saying we might have a minor recession in late 2020. But the Repo Market Crisis had already happened in September of 2019, and The Fed was quietly putting billions of dollars a week into the banking system to keep it functioning. "Liquidity," they called it. Everything I had read and seen told me a big recession was coming pretty soon.
Then Covid-19 began to spread out of China, it hit U.S. shores, and the stock market collapsed in early 2020. Soon came the mask rules and the mandatory lockdowns, with millions and millions of people stuck inside their homes for months. That threw us into a deep depression. Yes, depression. The second quarter of 2020, the GDP dropped by over 32%, and a 10% drop qualifies as a depression, by definition.
On March 1st 2020, I was writing chapter 17 of Dystopia, about "The Phoenix Great Depression," what I believed would be 5 to 7 years of severe economic turbulence, in the 2020's. At that point, we were halfway down in the stock crash of early 2020. Nobody had any idea just how big a deal the pandemic would become. I wrote the remining three chapters of Dystopia over the next three months, as the pandemic set in. The major economic downturn that all the long term trends pointed to was actually happening, much as I had anticipated. I did not expect a pandemic to spark the recession, but I expected a serious recession to begin in 2020.
Then something really crazy happened. The Fed and the U.S. government started a series of stimulus measures. I expected a bailout, much like in 2008-2009, that would lessen the effects of the recession. But I did not expect that they would ultimately create $6 trillion, and throw that money at not only big business and banks, but local and state governments, and everyday Americans. Between the stimulus checks, the Cares Act, PUA, PPP, ERC, ARPA, and other programs, The Fed (Federal Reserve) and the U.S. Treasury, increased the U.S. money supply by close to 25%, roughly $6 trillion. That stopped the 2020 depression dead in its tracks, and nearly everyone suddenly became Hood Rich. Wealthy people bought assets. Big businesses bought stock shares back. Everyday Americans, the world's greatest consumers, bought all kinds of stupid shit, like putting down payments on $90,000 trucks and SUV's they couldn't afford, then not paying the payments, or buying meme stocks with their new Robinhood accounts, and other nonsense like that. Suddenly, in late 2020 and through 2021 there was all kinds of money in the U.S. economy, and life felt good for many people, except for the lockdowns. Recession? What recession?
So the great depression level economic crisis I wrote was coming started in February of 2020, and then got put on pause by this huge deluge of money throughout the U.S., and other major countries as well. Then, as we began to emerge from the pandemic, all that new money that had been created sparked really high inflation. Because that's what happens when you create huge amounts of a fiat currency, the value of the currency goes down, and prices go up, usually about 12 to 18 months after the money is created.
Then The Fed raised interest rates faster than ever before, "to fight inflation," inflation that they and the U.S. treasury, caused. We went from near zero interest rates, to more historically normal levels, 5.25% on the Fed Funds rate, and 7% 30 year mortgages, which no one was used to anymore. The economic system just got more and more out of whack as one crazy event after another happened. The rapid rise in interest rates caused all kinds of different problems, including for banks, who had loaded up on .75% and 1% return T-bills, which suddenly dropped in value because T-bills started paying 4% or 5% interest.
As interest rates rose, the economy, now running on trillions of dollars of "helicopter money," began to slow down. But there was still so much new money sloshing around the system, that it took a really long time for the economy to really slow down. Finally the Employee Retention Credit system, which was being scammed left and right in 2022 and 2023, was dialed back in late 2023. The economy began to slow down, as inflation also dropped back down to lower levels. The Fed wants to get CPI inflation back to 2% per year. According to Truflation, which tracks inflation in real time (not with a lag, like The Fed's data), U.S. inflation right now (Feb. 15, 2024) is 1.42%. The official government CPI number is 3.4%. So prices are still going up, but much slower than they were in 2021 and 2022.
Most of the main economic indicators now show that the U.S. is either in a recession, or heading towards one in early 2024. Yes, there is a strong narrative in mainstream and business media, that we will have a soft landing, and there will be no recession in 2024. But if you dig into the people studying the actual economic data, the economies of most major countries appear to be slowing down. Personally, I think we went into a recession around October or November of 2023. When the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) officially names a recession (a year or two after one ends), that's when I expect them to put the beginning around October 2023. But two things have been keeping most people from believing we're in a recession. The stock market indices are hitting new, all time highs recently, and the unemployment rate is still really low. These are two things average people look to as "signs of the economy." But, in reality, stocks usually don't drop dramatically, until well into a recession, and the unemployment rate usually rises well into a recession, as well. Both of these are lagging indicators. In the Great Recession of 2007-2009, the big stock drop was in September of 2008. But the actual recession officially started in December of 2007, nine months earlier. The unemployment level didn't really take off until May of 2008, five months after the recession started. We were several months into that recession before the recession became obvious to average working people.
I think we are at the time now, where I can safely call the return of The Phoenix Great Depression. It started in February of 2020, but was put on hold by all the stimulus programs, but late summer of 2020. I believe we are in a recession now, and this second recession of the 2020's will be deep, it will be long, and it will involve most of the industrialized world.
Germany's manufacturing has been struggling for several months, although they aren't quite officially in a recession, but much of the Euro Zone already is. Across the Pacific, China's gigantic, $62 trillion real estate market is collapsing. They reportedly have over 100 cities full of condos that no one will ever live in. They actually built at least 65 to 80 million homes and condos that no one will every live in. There may be even more unused condos, in fact. They just kept building condo towers to keep their growth economic growth going, but the Ponzi scheme structure of their real estate industry is imploding now. Giant Chinese real estate developer Evergrande has just gone bankrupt, and is being liquidated, which is spooking Chinese workers away from investing in new homes, one of the few things Chinese people can invest in. In addition, as I was writing this today, a report came out that Japan is now in recession, and has dropped from the 3rd largest economy to the 4th, behind struggling Germany.
There's no strong growth anywhere in the world to help pull China, the European Union, and the U.S. out of our slowing economies. If The Fed and U.S. treasury try to bail everyone out again, they will quickly spark up more inflation, which is exactly what they don't want to do. The biggest power players in the world of economics basically have to just let the chaos play out at this point, around the world. There will be limited bailouts of banks, and maybe some big businesses, but each one must be weighed now against the risk of causing more inflation. American consumers are struggling to make their regular bill payments, and can't afford even higher prices.
So what does all this mean? It means the serious recession, that the trends I follow predicted, is settling into most major countries, China, Japan, Germany and the European Union, and here in the U.S.A.. In tomorrow's blog post, I'll go into some of the trends I think will play out as we head into a deep global recession, one that will probably feel like a great depression, by the time it's finally over.
I've been writing a lot lately, on a platform called Substack, designed specifically for writers, check it out:
Steve Emig The White Bear's Substack
Wednesday, February 14, 2024
The Our BMX edit- BMX Triple Challenge Jumping- Glendale AZ 2024
The last 115,000 page views
Several months ago, I noticed a weird spike in page views to my blog. For about six years, since I started this blog in the summer of 2017, I've been getting steady page views. Most of the time, I get maybe 15 to 40 views a day. My more popular BMX posts, back in 2017 and 2018, would sometimes get 300 to 800 views, in one or two days, on that one post. But usually I get somewhere between 20 and 100 views a day, with 15 to 30 being about average if I don't post that day. This blog has 373 backlinks, I just checked. Most of those are my own links, from social media and other blogs. a reader will find one of my other blogs, and at the bottom there's a link, "Hey, check out my main blog..." But not all of links are mine. There are sites linking to this blog from Slovakia, for example, that showed up on the report. There are BMXers, and people who read some of my financial oriented posts, from around the world.
Back in the late summer of 2019, this blog got banned from linking on Facebook. When I wrote a BMX post, I'd usually post it in 3 or 4 BMX groups on FB, so a bunch of Old School BMX freestylers could check out that post. I suddenly got tagged ad a spammer, for linking posts about Old School BMX freestyle, in Old School BMX freestyle Facebook groups. But in 2019, for whatever reason, I couldn't link to this blog, or any of my other blogs, from Facebook.
At the same time, my analytics here on Blogger (owned by Google) got weird as well. My page view count suddenly dropped by 80% to 90%. Before then, a good BMX post would usually get 300 to 400 page views, and after about August of 2019, a similar BMX post would get 30 to 40 views. It's like my page views were either being hidden, or the algorithm was just keeping my posts from being seen. Now, there's been all kinds of other weird shit happening in my life, going all the way back to right after the 9/11 attacks, in 2001. So to me this was "just another weird thing happening." Around that same time I got banned from linking this blog on FB, is when Peter Thiel started advising Facebook. A LOT of content creators, particularly on YouTube, started complaining about the algorithms around that same time.
But I just kept blogging, and after about four years, I suddenly could link this blog on Facebook again. But my number of page views was far less that whole time. I lost tens of thousands of page views because of not being able to link on FB.
I don't really care about absolute numbers of views, just that somebody is actually reading my posts on a consistent basis. If it's 15 people reading a post, or 1,000 reading it, doesn't really matter to me. I don't have ads on my blogs, so I don't need millions of views. I keep the counters on my blogs to show somebody actually reads these blogs. There are over 600 million blogs in the world, and most of them probably have fewer than 1,000 total views. Most bloggers don't promote their blogs, for a variety of reasons. I want somebody to read my stuff, so I promote my blog, post by post, so at least some people can find it.
I got up to about 140,000 page views on this blog, slow and steady, by mid 2023 or so. Then around 145,000 page views, I noticed a weird spike in views, thousands of views in a week, mostly from Singapore. When I look at the posts being checked out, it only shows the 20 to 40 daily views from regular people. I wasn't sure what was going on. That first spike was all from one kind of browser, on one kind of phone, from Singapore, according to my analytics. Then that spike passed, and things went back to normal. Then came another spike, but that one was from another region, a different computer and browser, and they appeared to be looking at 30 or 40 different posts. So some of these spikes look like this blog has gone viral in some region, where lots of people check it out. Like some influencer in that region said, "Hey, check this out." Other times, like the current spike of just under 1,500 views a day, for several days right now, are coming from Chrome on a Mac, and centered in Singapore, Hong Kong, and China, with 12 or 15 other countries also represented. Is is some hack? Is someone using A.I to scan my blog for keywords or themes? Is some group who doesn't like my financial posts trying to figure out who I am, and why a homeless guy writes about future market events and inflection points? I don't know.
In any case, this blog has blasted higher, with much of the last 115,000 or so page views coming largely from huge, unusual spikes, that I can't explain. It's just one more weird thing happening in our ever-changing world, and in the wild ride that is my life. At the same time, I'm getting 15 to 100 views a day, slow and steady, like always, checking out the BMX and other random things I blog about.
In any case, these weird spikes in page views have accounted for much of the last 115,000 views on this blog. I'm not sure what's going on.
Monday, February 12, 2024
Creative Life- 2/12/2024
Just to be clear, my goal is to start a small business selling ebooks, real books, a few T-shirts, and my Sharpie art. I want to use the proceeds from this business to rent a room or apartment, buy a BMX cruiser, start riding again to the level I can, and start slowly losing weight. That's the goal. That's always been the goal, since I landed back out on the streets of SoCal in the summer of 2019.
The main reason a "real job" is out of the question is that, after living in North Carolina for ten years (2008-2018), where I couldn't find ANY job (except taxi driving for a year), I have no work history. The last "real job" I had that could verify my employment would be a warehouse I worked at in 1997, where I tested computer monitors, drove a forklift, and loaded trucks. Every job I've had since, taxi driving and "real jobs," the companies have all gone out of business, or been bought out and no longer exist. I'm 57, really overweight, and can't do any physical jobs at this point. But there's a lot I can do online.
At this point, I have a better chance of creating a small business of writing and art, than I have of getting a real job that pays enough to rent a place to live. I also used to be a part time flipper, buying storage unit auction units, and selling the stuff for cash. That's a good way to make some money, week to week. With a vehicle and a place to store stuff, I could do that as well. That would combine well with the online business idea. I always made some money doing that, I did it part time when I drove a taxi in 2004-2007. So that's the goal, create my own job, rent a place to live, and stabilize my life again. Then get a bike. That's all I've been trying to do for nearly 5 years now.
It's hard trying to build a business right off of the streets. Really hard. But that's the only realistic option right now. And we're heading into a major recession (don't believe the media hype, we're in a recession, financial YouTube is talking about it daily). I've built online stores twice since 2019, and both times my inability to get a legit bank account held me back. I didn't realize something that simple would be such an issue. But when you can't show proof of a physical address, it's an issue. And no, a P.O. Box won't work.
Anyhow, here's the last 3 1/2 months worth of drama. At the end of November, I signed back up for food stamps (aka Cal Fresh), mine had expired at the end October. I got approved for six months, like usual. They had the first month on my card the next day. Cool. Then I got a free "Obama phone," because I couldn't scrape up enough money to buy a Trac phone, after mine got stolen last summer.
My food stamps didn't come in December, so I figured what I got at the end of November was for December, instead of back-timed for November. Then they didn't come in January. I called them in January. The woman said the money would be on my card in three days. It didn't come. So I called again, that woman said they owed me for December and January, and it would all be on my card the next day. It didn't come again. As of now, for reasons no one can explain, I haven't had my food stamps payments for December, January, or February. I'm in the system, it says so on the computer. But they won't send the payments to my card, for some reason. If I don't qualify, just say so, and I'll figure something else out. But their online system says I should be getting the payments, and I'm not getting them, I'm in the system.
I also had a prepaid bank card thing, which allowed me to transfer money out of Paypal, and similar sources, so I could get paid for doing artwork, or other work online. That card got shut down, no reason given, in December as well. Then, since I've been following crypto for a couple of years now, I signed up for a Coinbase account. I know the crypto major bull market is in its early stages, and will play out over the next 12 -18 months. So I was planning to scrape up $50 or $100, and put it in Bitcoin, Eth, and a couple others, and just let it ride for the next year, as the cycle plays out. I couldn't fund the account, my "Obama phone" wasn't accepted. Then, a couple of days later, the new Google account I opened, to have a separate email for the crypto account, got shut down for no reason, as well. That's the third Google account I've had shut down with no notice, with no reason given.
With no food stamps in January, I struggled to scrape up food money. Normal people are pretty generous to homeless people from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Then the generosity just shuts off. January is always the hardest month to scrape through. I was going through my days, and not eating much. I actually "work" much of every day, though I have to bounce from location to location to do it. Other than the library, I have to pay, I have to buy something, at most of the locations I work at daily, like fast food joints, Starbucks and similar locations, etc. Buying a drink or food gives me access to heat or A/C, a place to sit, power (sometimes) wifi, and a bathroom. So I have to buy something to use those places, and I need bus fare to get from place to place. That's just everyday life in my situation.
Because I wasn't eating much, and not eating well, my immune system got depressed. I got sick in the middle of January, and went to the hospital for three days. I had some infection that normally I could fight off. My lack of decent food, and battling the chilly weather, wore me down. I had some infection, and it landed in my lower left leg, a form of cellulitis. I've been prone to that since I was a taxi driver in 2007. When I was leaving the hospital, it took half a day for them to find my belongings, that I had to leave with security in the E.R., when I checked in. When they found my stuff, My sleeping bag and blanket were gone. The hospital either lost them, or threw them away. That's a bummer.
From the hospital I got sent to a "homeless rehab" place up in Palmdale. The people working there were all cool, the food was decent, but luke warm or cold. But the place was completely underfunded for the services they are supposed to provide. They had problems getting me my antibiotics three times a day the first few days. I could barely walk when I got there, and just laid in my little bed, with my leg elevated on my backpack. I healed up, mostly. But now my left leg swells up with fluid each day, then the fluid drains at night. It's still improving over time. It was back to pretty much normal size this morning.
I talked to the social workers about looking into "housing" after a few days in the rehab place. Then I didn't see them again. My social worker went ahead and signed me up for the housing system, at the beginning of February, and I was taken to the sketchy-ass building in downtown L.A., with the nasty mattress in the photo above, and no working toilet for my room. So I left.
Then I had to deal with a couple of 38 to 40 degree (F) nights, the first with no sleeping bag. Luckily, a person I know in this area gave me a sleeping bag the second day. That was a life saver. It's good down to about 45 or 50 degrees, so I want to buy a moving blanket for additional warmth at night. Those are compact, and are good insulation for their size. I squeaked through the huge rainstorm, 7.25 to 8.25 inches of rain in about four days, where I'm at. One night, I set down my big, trash bag wrapped sketch pad, to put on my poncho, when leaving a business. I spaced out, and left my sketchpad there. It had the finished "Regrets" drawing (below), a large doodle art (black and white) drawing, and a couple smaller things. Not a huge loss, but still a bummer. So I have to buy a new sketch pad before I can do any more drawings. Another thing on the list.
Then last night, while I was sleeping, some motherfucker stole my shopping bag, which was tucked behind my legs while I slept. All my clothes were in it, and about 15 razors, since I have to buy a 20-pack of razors to get one, these days. So I have the clothes on my back, my laptop, Obama phone, and Sharpies and my basic art supplies. I have the new sleeping bag. And that's it.
I want to be perfectly clear, I'm NOT asking, or hinting that I need help. I'm just writing this post to explain how fucked up life can be, to vent, and to let everyone know the kinds of things I deal with, and don't write about most of the time. This is why I scrape by, and haven't been able to get back on my feet. When you're homeless, things you need, everyday items, are getting lost or stolen, on a regular basis. These setbacks can take months to recover from.
It's a beautiful, but chilly morning here in The Valley, north of L.A.. I've been here in a fast food place for over an hour, and it's still only 52 degrees (F) out right now. It's been a crazy winter, and I'm doing my best to survive, and keep plugging away at the overall goal of getting a functioning business going, and making a living again some day. But it's been a crazy winter, I have a bunch of stuff to replace, and I can't even do artwork right now. But I keep plugging away at it.
So that's my status right now, as a creative guy working to earn a legit living again. Again, I'm not asking for help or any items. I'm just writing about the things I normally don't write about, and letting everyone who follows my work know how things are going. Thanks for reading, thanks to all who have bought drawings from me, helped me out in some other way, or support me on Patreon (I can't access that $$ right now either, but will be able to soon). More stuff to come. I'll try to keep it interesting, most of the time.
Both legs were swollen at this point, even my hands were. But the left lower leg was more swollen. This is the morning after I got to the homeless recuperation place in Palmdale, after three days in the hospital, in mid January."Regrets." This is the #sharpiescribblestyle drawing that was in the big sketchpad that I left in a restaurant. It wasn't there when I checked a day later. Nobody wanted to buy this one, but technically, it's one of my better drawings. I wanted to do something weird for Halloween, try another idea, and this was the result. I hope whomever nabbed it likes it.
I've been doing a lot of writing on Substack lately, check it out:
Steve Emig The White Bear's Substack