Sunday, April 21, 2019

Happy Easter everyone!


It's Easter, the Christian holiday where we commemorate the day Jesus of Nazareth ("Christ" was not his last name, and actually he spent far more time in Capernum), the first century spiritual teacher, healer, and leader.  On this day we honor him rising from the dead, three days after dying on a Roman cross, on Good Friday.  OK, it's actually only two days after, so Good Friday probably actually happened on Maundy Thursday.  And Maundy is not "Monday" with a hangover, it means commandment.

In any case, Jesus, the one in the Bible, not the one who's the bus boy at your local Mexican restaurant, (he pronounces it Hay-Seuss), was the best example of the potential of a human being, and he gave us two commandments: 1) Love God with all your heart and soul and might, and 2) Love your neighbor. 

So, of course, millions of his followers have started countless wars in the last 2,000 years in his name.  Hey, it's much easier to shoot an arrow, throw a spear, or shoot a rifle, than it is to sit down and find some common ground with the people who really bug you. And that's why many people celebrate Easter by getting up earlier than they do on weekdays, going to church, and worshiping at sunrise, aka Son (of God) Rise.  And then they gohome and beginning the actual celebration.  That's where we, the Tupperware Age people, hide wicker baskets we didn't make, filled with colored eggs, plastic eggs filled with candy and money, all we say were left by a fictional giant rabbit. 

That rabbit, Peter Cottontail, is the one rabbit who seems to never think about sex, which bunnies are best known for.  Because nothing makes our kids think of spiritual growth and transformation like a six foot tall celebate rabbit who poops plastic eggs.  Somebody really should write a book about our holiday traditions, and how they came to be. 

As for me, I woke up under the bridge where I sleep, because I'm homeless, lifting up my jacket (my sleeping bag, blanket, and duffel bag of clothes and art supplies got stolen) I use as a blanket, and saw the brilliant, absolutely beautiful, first light over the huge James River, that runs through Richmond, Virginia.  I walked a mile to a bus stop, with ospreys circling overhead, looking for fish to catch, cormorants, who dive after little fish, and 40 freakin' vultures on a huge flood wall.  Seriously, 40 VULTURES all in one place.  Apparently the vultures here have there own sunrise service.  I've never seen that many in one place. 

Since vultures eat carrion, dead animals killed by other animals, I always wonder if they ever get impatient and just say, "Screw it, I'm tired of waiting, let's kill something!"  But I digress. 

It's Easter, one of two holidays where millions of people who normally sleep in, go to church just to hedge their bets, just in case Hell actually is real.  In any case, it's Easter, spend the day doing some good.  For we all know what Easter really means... that Peeps will be half price tomorrow. 

Happy Easter everyone!

And if you have a sick sense of humor like me, here's Sam Kinison explaining how he knew that Jesus didn't have a wife...

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